My alcoholic mum won’t let me follow my dreams of becoming a policeman


DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN my dad decided to abandon us five years ago, I didn’t hesitate to step up. But now my mum is taking advantage.

I’m a 22-year-old man, Mum’s 45, and my brothers are 15, 11 and eight.


Ever since Dad left, she’s been drinking more – so I do the cooking and cleaning

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Ever since Dad left, she’s been drinking more and going out four or five times a week.

So I do everything – cooking, cleaning, ferrying my brothers to and from school.

When I left college, I took a job working night shifts at the local supermarket so I could be around to help.

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But really I’d like to be a police officer. I’d love to do an apprenticeship I’ve seen online, but it would mean moving away.

When I told my mum about it, she called me selfish.

DEIDRE SAYS: Your mum may be depressed but it’s not selfish to want your own life.

Explain to your mum you’re worried about how much she’s drinking and encourage her to contact We Are With You ( for people who are addicted to drugs and alcohol. They help relatives, too.

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Tell her you want to apply for the apprenticeship and she needs to start stepping up.

For advice on how best to have this conversation, contact The Mix (, who help anyone under 25.


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