I want a second chance at love with somebody else than my wife

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DEAR DEIDRE: I’m a prisoner in my own home because my wife treats me like dirt.

It’s not her fault. She has mental health issues. But when she gets mad, she gets violent too and I don’t feel I can leave her. She’s 41 and I’m 45.

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When I’ve threatened to leave my wife before, she’s thrown things and hit me

I met somebody at a wedding a year ago and it stirred up feelings in me that I’d never felt before. I found out her name and messaged her in secret.

She’s 35 and single. I said I was ‘an admirer’ and she took the bait. We talked via Whatsapp every day for weeks.

I then told her who I was. She remembered meeting me and said she fancied me too but she won’t see me whilst I’m living with my wife.

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When I’ve threatened to leave my wife before, she’s thrown things and hit me. The last time she grabbed the razor from the bathroom.

She’ll react if I try this again.

I don’t love her. I want a second chance at love with somebody else.

DEIDRE SAYS: You may be worried about her endangering herself if you leave, but she’s endangering you if you stay.

Nobody should be expected to tolerate violence in any relationship – even when mental health issues are involved.

Encourage her to find some professional help.

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She can talk to her GP to get a referral and you can both talk to Mind (https://www.mind.org.uk/0300 123 3393). The website has a section called ‘How to help someone else’.

When she finds some support, you may feel more comfortable about a separation.



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